


I'm Hacking My Way Through the Jungle

by Crejhov



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Adoption, Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, Canonical Character Death, F/M, Father-Daughter Relationship, Gen, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, baby duck theory, mild conspiracy, murder plots
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-11
Updated: 2020-05-15
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:33:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23587705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crejhov/pseuds/Crejhov
Summary: The traffickers didn't stop at an abandoned cabin that night, so Eren never had a chance to rescue Mikasa. Instead, two young soldiers come across a horrific scene on a dark road on their way back to Headquarters.OrThe unconventional way Erwin Smith started a family.
Relationships: Erwin Smith & Mikasa Ackerman
Comments: 21
Kudos: 64





	1. Chapter 1

Over the course of his career as a scout, Erwin had seen many horrifying things. He’d seen comrades swallowed whole and bodies splattered against the ground. In his dreams he could hear the screams of the dying, their pleases for mercy where none was ever granted. Still, after enduring the horror that were the titans, there was something incomprehensible about seeing a child drenched in blood with dull, dead eyes sitting next to a corpse in the dark. 

He held up his lantern higher to cast a wider range of light. Maybe 20 meters beyond, he saw a cart on the side of the road, one wheel stuck in a shallow ditch. The girl, maybe 10-years-old, sat still with the hand of the dead woman clutched in her tiny hands. He didn’t know if she was refusing to acknowledge him and Mike or, more likely if she was in shock. 

“Erwin,” Mike said in a low voice next to him, their horses shifting underneath them to move closer to each other. “This might be the mother and daughter the Military Police told us to be on the lookout for.”

He’d all but forgot about it nearly immediately after they’d passed by that MP outpost. What had they said? Bandits had kidnapped a mother and daughter after killing the husband. That’s right, a local doctor had raised the alarm after he’d found the husband’s body when he was making a house call. 

“Mikasa?” He called out to her and not entirely certain he had the name right. It had been a name he’d never heard before, something foreign. “Is your name Mikasa? My name is Erwin Smith, this is my friend, Mike Zacharias. We’re soldiers here to help.”

Her reaction to him was delayed. He’d seen it in soldiers outside the walls after a run-in with titans. Shock. But eventually, she did tilt her head up, though she still refused to make eye contact with him.

Erwin handed his lantern over to Mike and swung one leg up and over as he got down from his horse. With slow steps, he approached the girl. “Mikasa,” he knelt down on one knee so he was eye level with her. “Can you tell me what happened?”

This close, he could see that the mother wasn’t dead but would be very soon. Her breaths were ragged and shallow, her eyes, dim and directed at her daughter. She’d been stabbed what looked like a dozen times in the gut which must have made every weak breath she took painful. 

The daughter was so covered in blood he couldn’t tell if any of it belonged to her. The only thing off that Erwin could see was that her tiny form was wrecked in shivers, from cold or shock, he didn’t know. Probably both. 

For a long moment, it seemed like she wasn’t going to answer. “They-“ she paused, trying to find the words. “Those men killed my papa.” 

She shifted her weight closer to her mother. “They tied us up and put us in the back of papa’s cart. They said they were going to sell us in the interior.”

So they weren’t bandits at all but traffickers. 

The mother, finally sensing that someone else was there turned her head. She was so pale, even in the dim light that the lantern provided. “My name is Luteninent Erwin Smith with the Survey Corps. Can you-“

He stopped abruptly when she opened her mouth and coughed, blood dribbling down her chin. “Take care…” her struggle with just those two words was painful. 

“You’re daughter’s safe now.” He assured her, reaching out to take her other hand. It was sticky with drying blood but he wouldn’t have lasted this long in the scouts if a little blood bothered him. 

Her fingers twitched weakly in his hands. “Promise me… I told her..” her breathing was so shallow at this point Erwin could barely perceive it. 

Erwin glanced up to Mikasa but she hadn’t moved a muscle and continued to stare at her mother emotionlessly. When he looked back to her mother it was to see that she had finally succumbed to her wounds. 

Behind him. He could hear Mike dismount his horse, the light from the lantern bobbing and creating deep shadows along the faces of the daughter. Mike set the lantern down next to Erwin before walking down the road to where the cart had been left. 

He laid the woman’s hand down before looking back to her daughter. “Your mother said she told you something” he started after a moment of silence, “what was it?”

Mikasa mirrored his actions and finally released her mother’s hand, laying it gently on her shredded abdomen. She clasped her hands together and rested them in her lap and finally lifted her gaze to meet his. And for a moment, Erwin was rendered breathless. 

In her dark eyes was a fire so hot he could almost feel its heat. “She told me I had to fight to live.”

Mike returned to them and Erwin struggled to tear his eyes away from the fierce little girl before him. “Three men dead,” he said, his face grim. “Killed with this.” In his open hand was a knife with the wood on the grip splintered. It looked like it had been crushed in a small fist. 

He didn’t have to look at her hands to know that Mikasa was the one who killed the bandits. Still, when he looked down to where they rested in her lap he could see a sliver of wood sticking out of the heel of her palm. Any other splinters she may have hidden by the drying blood. 

Erwin stared at her tiny hands for a long moment. The reality of what must have happened maybe half an hour before he and Mike happened upon the scene sinking in. Would they have been able to save her mother and her innocence had they just rode a little faster? 

“Erwin?”

Erwin drew himself from his thoughts. It never did any good to get stuck in what-ifs. “Let’s wrap the bodies and take everything back to the MPs.” Mike nodded and got to work. This was hardly the first time either of them had had to prepare the dead for transport. 

Erwin stood and held his hand out to Mikasa who took it and allowed herself to be pulled into a standing position. “Where are you going to take me?”

He pulled her away from the body of her mother toward his horse. “There’s a Military Police outpost by the Shiganshina gate of Wall Maria, we’ll go there.”

He stopped beside his horse and gave its side a pat. “Have you ever ridden a horse before?” She shook her head no. Erwin gave Mikasa a crash course in horse riding to distract her while Mike loaded all the bodies on the wagon. By the time he’d settled her side saddle with him seated behind, Mike had hitched the cart to his horse and was ready to leave. 

“Now just remember, hold on to the horn.” She tightened her grip on the horn and he turned his horse around back in the direction of Wall Maria. 

For the most part, they rode in silence, with Erwin pulling her closer so she was under his cloak when he noticed her teeth chattering. For the first time in a long time, he found himself not thinking about formations and titans. Instead, he thought about the little girl in his arms who was very stubbornly not giving in to her need to sleep though she had to be exhausted. He wondered what would happen to her once they turned her over to the MPs. Did she have a family she could go to? And the doctor, who was he to her family to be so concerned about their welfare. 

They finally reached the MP outpost sometime after midnight. Most of the ride had been spent in silence, only he and Mike quietly discussing the likely ass-chewing they’d be receiving from Shadis come morning. Mikasa had remained awake and eerily still against him the entire ride. 

When he walked through the office door, it was to see a man harassing four very irritated MPs. From what he could hear, Erwin deduced he was the doctor he’d heard about before. 

“Look, we’ve got men out looking for them, as soon as we know something, you’ll know something.” An officer was telling the irate man. 

“I think I can help with that,” Erwin interrupted before the situation could escalate. The doctor looked seconds away from throwing a punch. 

All the men turned to him and then moved their gaze down to the little girl holding his hand and caked in dried blood. There was a long pause, taking in the horror of the situation. 

“Mikasa!” And then the doctor was moving forward to crouch before her. “Do you remember me, we’ve met a few times when you were just a little thing.” His tone was steady but he was pale as his eye roamed over her form looking for injuries.

She didn’t move away from him, but she did move closer to Erwin, her grip on his hand tightening. 

“Lieutenant Smith,” one of the MP’s called, moving closer. “Can you tell us what happened?”

Erwin gave the man a nod before kneeling until he was on Mikasa’s level. “Let the doctor pull the splinters from your hand and treat any injuries.”

Mikasa didn’t look at either of them but gave a reluctant nod. She had angled her body away from the doctor and released Erwin’s hand. The doctor led her over to a bench and had her sit on it. A good call because she was swaying on her feet from exhaustion. 

“There’s four bodies in a cart outside with Lance Corporal Mike Zacharias.” He said, causing two of the MPs to head outside. 

It took the better part of an hour to give statements and write reports. In that time, the local mortician had been called to take the bodies of the dead for storage. The doctor had pulled the splinters from her hand proclaiming them the worst of the injuries. Mikasa had been cleaned up and had her blood-stained dress replaced with a spare button-down shirt that came to just below her knees. She’d also hung on to his Scout cloak and had it wrapped around her tightly. 

And still, she didn’t give in to sleep. 

Erwin had noticed that Mikasa had some sort of aversion to Doctor Yeager and mentioned it to Mike under his breath. “Maybe it’s a baby duck situation.” He suggested, much to Erwin’s confusion. 

“Baby duck?”

Mike crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against one of the desks in the office. “Baby ducks latch onto the first thing they see after they hatch, thinking it’s their mother.” He nodded toward Mikasa who was turning her head away from the doctor again. “Losing her family in such a traumatic way, she needs someone to look after her.”

Mike clapped his hand on Erwin’s shoulder with a grin. “You’re the mother now.”

Erwin wasn’t entirely sure this was true until Mikasa glanced up at him. When she saw that he was looking at her she moved away from the doctor, her tiny bare feet padding silently across the office floor until she stood in front of him. Mike muttered a soft quack beside him. 

“I’m tired,” she said, her voice just as soft as when she’d first spoken to him. “Can you take me home?”

Erwin felt his stomach drop as a heavy silence filled the air. Eventually, he found his voice, “Home?”

She pulled the cloak tighter around her shoulders. “There’s really nowhere else for me to go.”

Erwin looked up to Doctor Yeager who was staring at Mikasa sadly. There was always something sad about an orphan, after all, he’d been an orphan once. “Does Mikasa have any family in the area? Grandparents, aunts or uncles?”

The doctor shook his head. “No, none that I’m aware of.” He turned to one of the officers. “Though maybe you can investigate for other relatives in the area?”

The man looked like that was the last thing he wanted to do. “Protocol is children go to the orphanage and if no family claims them within a year then the assets of the family are liquidated for the orphanage to hold on to until the child turns 16.”

Erwin wondered how many children received their inheritance and how much slipped into greedy pockets. He looked back down to Mikasa who seemed to have shrunken in on herself. He’d never seen someone look so miserable. 

“The orphanage in Shiganshina is overcrowded. I was there just last week and they had two children to a bed with many sleeping on the floor.” The doctor cut in. 

The MP shrugged. “So we’ll send her to Trost.”

Being an orphan once upon a time gave Erwin a certain insider's knowledge of loopholes. “I request emergency custody of Mikasa.” Beside him, he could feel Mike tense.

The MP sneered, “That’s not a thing-,” 

“It is,” cut off one of his comrades and pulled some paperwork from a filing drawer at the back of the office. He slapped it on the desk beside Erwin with a pen. “Though why a Scout would adopt a kid is beyond me.” 

The man had a point. It was why he didn’t pursue Maria. He could die any day. There were no guarantees in the Scouts. He might only be able to give Mikasa a home until the next expedition and then what would happen to her? But he couldn’t leave her, she was his baby duck now.

Erwin glanced at Mike feeling the other man's eyes on him. There was a question in his friend's eyes but he had no answers to give. Instead, he filled out the paperwork and made arrangements with Doctor Yeager to employ a local lawyer to track down any remaining family. In case that none existed, the lawyer was to liquidate the family's assets and put the money in a trust for Mikasa when she became of age. 

By the time he, Mikasa, and Mike were back on their horses and heading toward the Scouting legion's headquarters, he, Erwin Smith, was the legal guardian to a little girl he’d met less than four hours ago. 

Shadis was going to kill him.


	2. Chapter 2

When Mikasa had been a small girl, she had imagined she’d always live on that mountain with her mother and father. She would forever pick wildflowers with her mother and dance with her father around the kitchen table. They’d live out their days blissfully in each other’s company, never needing anything more. 

That had all changed when three men knocked on the door of her childhood home. 

Her father hadn’t been dead yet when she and her mother had been dragged out through the door. His face white from blood loss and his arm outstretched toward her. That look of desperate terror was what would stick with her through the years, not the kind and gentle smile she had once known by heart. 

The most vivid moment from that night had been when her mother had screamed for her to fight. She could never remember the flurry of bodies very clearly, one moment her mother was huddled next to her in the cart, and the next moment she had her hands wrapped around one of the men’s throat, her arms still bound at the wrist. Her screams were something Mikasa still heard in her dreams, “Fight, Mikasa! Fight!”

It was like a bolt of lightning had shot up her spine and crackled around inside her skull. Fight. The terror that had darkened the edges of her vision disappeared into sharp, vivid colors. Fight. Her muscles tightened, the ropes around her wrists digging into her skin and then snapping. Fight. Another of the men had jumped into the cart and sunk his knife into her mother over and over again. The terror that had once rendered her immobile faded until she was in total control of every fiber of muscle in her body. 

FIGHT!

She later couldn’t explain how she knew how to disarm the man killing her mother. The second the knife was in her grip she had shoved it into his eye and knew that his death had been instant. She had then ducked under the arm of another of the men when he had swung at her, the knife pulling from the first man's skull, and shoved it between the ribs of the second man and into his heart. Again, a mercifully immediate death. Mikasa had then pivoted and grabbed the last man's wrist as he made to attack her, she remembered the feeling of the bones beneath her small fingers cracking like dried leaves in her grip. Then, with one final swing of her arm, she had pushed the tip of the knife through the soft skin under his chin, up, up, and through the roof of his mouth. It was as if she had been moving her body to music in some macabre dance.

Only after she’d released the knife, letting the final man fall, did she realize that she’d been screaming. She’d stood there, the knife still tightly clutched in her hand, breathing heavily. 

“Mikasa.” Her mother had whispered into the heavy stillness of the night.

The force that had driven her body to move in ways she had never known but seemed to be ingrained in her skin, blood, and bones drained from her at the sound of her mother’s voice. 

“Mikasa, my girl, are you hurt?” She had asked, lifting her hand to cup Mikasa’s cheek. She remembered marveling over how cold her hand had been then.

The white dress she had helped her mother make for herself weeks before had been soaked red and clung to her body. But, she hadn’t felt any pain, she had felt hollow. “We have to go,” she had said and tried to nudge her mother into movement. 

Her mother’s face had contorted in agony at the movement and she’d clutched at her own blood-soaked dress and the wounds beneath. “I can’t move, you need to go without me. Find somewhere safe.”

If their home hadn’t been safe was anywhere safe? Mikasa didn’t think so at the time. She had considered that maybe Doctor Yeager would keep her safe, only, she couldn’t remember what he looked like. Would he recognize her?

“I’ll carry you.” She’d said and meant it.

Her mother had protested and cried as Mikasa moved her as gently as she could from the cart and then onto her back. She had only been able to bear her mother's pained sobbing for so long though and was only a few meters down the road before she shifted her mother onto the ground. Kneeling beside her, she’d taken her mother’s hand in hers. At that point, her back was covered in blood as well, and coupled with the cool air, she had been a shivering mess. 

“Mikasa,” her mother’s breathing had been harsh and wet. “In this world, in these walls, you have to fight if you want to live.” Watching her struggle to breathe as she drowned from the blood in her lungs had been a special kind of hell. “Promise me you’ll never stop fighting.”

Limp fingers had squeezed softly around her small hand. “Your father and I will always be with you. As long as you live, the memories you have of us will never die.” A tear had slipped down her mother’s cheek. “Promise me.”

She had nodded her head and sniffed. “I promise.”

Her mother had squeezed her fingers again and Mikasa wiped the droplets of blood off her mother’s face with the sleeve of her dress. The action had reminded of her mother wiping leftover porridge from her face that very morning. Looking back, it was hard to believe how long that day had lasted.

With her promise to live, her mother began whispering the history of their family. She reminded Mikasa that it was her job to pass it on to her children so that it would never be forgotten. Her mother had told her these stories for as long as she could remember that she knew them by heart. It was a history she was only allowed to pass on to her children. A secret, her mother had said.

Eventually, two soldiers came down the road. Both her mother and father had warned her against soldiers, but these men had been kind. She had still been wary of them, but Erwin had held her mother’s hand and listened to her last words as she died. That had to count for something. He had then sat her on his horse and attempted to distract her in the way adults did when they wanted to shield children from something they thought was too horrible for them to see. At the time, she had thought he had been nervous as he rambled on about horses while the other soldier, Mike, had packed her father’s cart with the dead men and the body of her mother.

His strange affinity for horses and their accessories aside, Mikasa had found herself leaning into him as they rode down the road. There had been something about him that she couldn’t describe. The only other thing she could compare it to would have been like sitting in her father’s lap but it hadn’t been quite the same. At the time Erwin had offered her a small slice of safety, which she so desperately needed.

Then they’d arrived at the Military Police outpost. That feeling she had felt in the cart returned with the eyes of all the men in the room on her. These soldiers had a horse with a horn on the pocket of their breast. These were the types of soldiers her father had warned her against. The type that had harassed him in the market when he went to sell furs and firewood. He had said they’d persecuted his and her mother’s family for generations. She’d wondered if that meant they’d hated her doubly so? She hadn’t been eager to find out and had scooted closer to Erwin, squeezing his hand just a little bit tighter. He was so big, maybe they wouldn’t notice her.

She had no such luck.

A man with glasses then moved toward her and dropped down to one knee in front of her. His hands had hovered just over her shoulder and Mikasa had leaned into Erwin’s arm just a little bit further. He’d asked her if she remembered him and she had. Once she’d seen his face, she’d remembered him to be Doctor Yeager. It was the glasses on the bridge of his nose that she remembered as he was the only person she’d ever seen with glasses. Still, even though her parents had trusted him, there was something about him that set her teeth on edge, something lurking just beneath his skin.

They’d sent her off to a washroom with a spare man’s shirt and a washcloth to clean up. The water they’d provided was cold and had made her shiver. She remembered being so cold by the time she’d washed away all the blood that her fingers had been stiff with it and it caused her to fumble with the buttons of the shirt. Even the sharp sting from where Doctor Yeager had pulled splinters from her palm had gone numb.

The first chance she got, she went over to Erwin and requested he take her home. That was when she learned she’d never get to go home again. The Military Police wanted to send her off to an orphanage and from what the doctor had said it would have been a miserable life. That was when Erwin did something that had shocked everyone. 

He adopted her on the spot. 

Or rather, he’d taken emergency custody over her. For days afterward he’d had a look on his face as though he’d opened his mouth and someone else’s words came out at that moment. Mikasa had often wondered if he’d regretted the decision to take her in, especially after his commanding officer had screamed at him when he’d taken her to his base. She thought Shadis’ eyes would pop out of his head when Erwin requested time off to settle her in and move his things into family housing. 

Erwin had moved them into a two-bedroom house the next morning that was about the same size as her family home but squished together so that it was two floors. It was one house in a block of identical connected houses that all opened up to a courtyard where the wives of soldiers would gather. There weren’t many families, less than twenty by her count, and they were all young. Any children they had were still small enough that they were carried around by their mothers. The tight feeling in her chest twisted a little at the sight of them playing with their babies. 

The second morning Mikasa woke up to her new life, she realized she’d never again get to hear her mother’s soft singing in the kitchen as she cooked breakfast. When she went down to the kitchen, she found it empty with only a note from Erwin sitting on the small kitchen table. He’d reminded her the night before that he’d have to go back to work today and that he would return in time for supper, but still, she missed his steadying presence. She’d never really been alone like this before and she was finding that she didn’t like it.

The note he had left her contained money and instructions to travel to the nearby town and buy food for the house. He’d even drawn a small map in the corner. They’d gone into town together the day before to buy clothing items for her and a few things for the house, just until the lawyer he’d hired had packed up her family home and sent them her things. She didn’t know how to feel about the future meshing of her old life into her new life. She would just have to deal with it when the time came, there was no use worrying over it until then. 

A knock at the door pulled her from her thoughts and every muscle in her body tensed. Memories from the last time someone had knocked at the door coming back to her in a flood. She needed a weapon. A knife. A knife had worked well last time. 

She scrambled to search the drawers of the kitchen but they were bare, as were the cupboards and the pantry. She needed something to hold, something to protect herself with. Anything -

“Hello?” A voice called through the door followed by more knocking. “Mickey? My name is Bruna Wagner, my husband works with Erwin Smith. He asked me to go with you to town to buy food.”

Her heart was thumping wildly in her chest and for a moment she considered jumping out the window and running to the base to find Erwin. The only thing stopping her was the faith he’d shown in her. He’d trusted that she would read his note and use the money appropriately. He hadn’t said anything about Bruna Wagner in the note but it wasn’t inconceivable that he’d make a last-minute change to the plan. She wouldn’t be a burden to him. 

If worse came to worse, she’d rip the woman’s throat out with her teeth. She was absolutely certain that she could do it.

Mikasa opened the door slowly to a young woman with mousy brown hair and a wide smile. “Oh look how pretty you are!” She reached out and ran her fingers through Mikasa’s hair and politely ignored her flinching. “I’ve never seen such dark hair before, I bet you have all the little boys chasing after you.”

Mikasa’s mother used to tell her she was pretty and run her fingers through her hair, but she didn’t like it when this woman did it. “My name’s Mikasa.”

Mrs. Wagner’s eyes widened as did her smile so that it looked almost too big for her face. “That sounds exotic! Is it a family name?”

She shook her head no. 

“Well, let's get going.” She said and stepped out of the doorway in the courtyard. “The first rule of going to the market is to go early so you can get pick of the best produce.”

The trip into town had been uneventful apart from the stares. People stared at her and commented on her unusual features at every stall they stopped at. She hated it. It was because she and her mother looked like this that those men had destroyed her family. If she had been normal she would still have her family. The thought filled her with guilt. Her mother had taught her to be proud of her heritage and here Mikasa was cursing it just days after her death. The tight feeling in her chest worsened and she rubbed at an itch on the back of her wrist. 

Mrs. Wagner helped her plan for a few days worth of meals and gave her a few simple recipes. She also helped Mikasa pick out a few kitchen essentials she and Erwin would need which was fortunate because Mikasa had completely forgotten about the empty cabinets at her new house. The woman talked incessantly but she was helpful and for that Mikasa was grateful. They parted ways before noon in the courtyard with a promise to do their laundry together tomorrow with the other wives. She knew how to do laundry as she’d helped her mother with it since she was little, but maybe it would be nice to not to have do it alone.

Mikasa had decided on a simple stew she’d made with her mother countless times before. She’d almost forgotten to buy herbs while at the market as she’d always picked them from the garden at home before. She wondered if Erwin would let her start a garden here. Only if he planned on keeping her as she reminded herself that his custody of her wasn’t permanent. If the lawyer found someone related to her surely they would want her to come live with them, wouldn’t they? 

She wasn’t sure there was any family left for the lawyer to find. Her mother had been sure that they had been the last of the Asian Clan. Her father had said that his family had escaped from the interior several generations ago and that there might still be family there. If there was some distant relative there, she hoped they stayed lost. She didn’t want to leave Erwin. Her mother had trusted him. She hadn’t been able to say it in her final moments, but she had trusted him to take care of her. He’d promised.

Mikasa was pulled from her thoughts when the door to the courtyard opened. Her breath caught in her throat and the muscles in her shoulders bunched up in anticipation. Unlike this morning, she had a knife now and it was gripped firmly in her hand. She needed to turn around to face her attacker - 

“Ah, you made dinner,” Erwin said.

And just like that, the fight drained out of her. She turned away from the sink to see him walking into the kitchen with her, his arms full of files and papers. The relief of seeing him again made her want to cry. Being apart from him all day had made her skin feel tight. She wanted to hug him, to lean into him again, and absorb just a little bit of the security his presence offered. The only thing holding her back was the thought that he may not want her to be all over him. After all, she wasn’t his daughter, he was just taking care of her for the time being. This was only temporary. She’d have to start over eventually. It was in her best interest not to get too attached or be so bothersome that it sped up the process.

“I made a stew.” She said, picking up two dish clothes so that she could remove the cast iron cauldron from the fire. 

Erwin made a lurching motion toward her when she turned around with the cauldron in her hands but paused. “That- That's’ not too heavy for you?” He asked, looking confused. 

Mikasa looked down at the cauldron brimming with the stew she had spent all afternoon making, the dishcloths wrapped around the handles in her hands. It certainly wasn’t as light as it had been when it was empty, but she wasn’t straining to carry it. “No?” She wasn’t sure that was the right answer because even though the confusion dropped from his face he continued to stare at her.

She hurriedly put the cauldron on the kitchen table, her shoulders drawing in on her. Had she done something wrong? Mikasa retrieved the bowls and spoons she’d bought that morning and set them on the table. From the corner of her eye, she watched as Erwin took his seat at the table but even when she turned her back to pour them cups of water, she could still feel him staring at her.

With the cauldron on the table, she was too short to ladle stew into their bowls. “Here, let me,” Erwin said, taking the ladle from her and serving them both. 

She had attempted to make a loaf of bread as she had done with her mother, but she hadn’t been able to remember all the ingredients or the correct proportions. The resulting loaf came out as more of a brick. She was going to save it to lure a goose or some other wild bird for supper sometime later in the week. Her father had used a gun when he hunted, but her mother had taught her how to break the neck of chickens and rabbits.

The tension from Erwin’s staring melted away as they started to eat. He asked after her day, sharing a little bit of his own, and she told him of her trip into town with Mrs. Wagner and their plans tomorrow. He nodded along but seemed distracted. It wasn’t like the dinners she had had with her family at all where they had laughed and talked without pause. The contrast made her miss them all the more.

After dinner, he helped her clean the dishes before taking a seat at the kitchen table once more, this time with his stack of files and papers. Whatever he was studying had his whole attention. He didn’t even seem to notice when she left the room. With nothing left to do, Mikasa took herself to bed. She changed into her new nightgown and ran her fingers through her hair missing the way her mother used to brush it before tucking her into bed. Climbing into bed, she blew out the candle and resigned herself to lying awake in the darkness until the sun rose just as she had for the last two nights. Eventually, the tight ache in her chest would go away, right?


	3. Chapter 3

Once a week, Erwin had a day off from being a soldier. Usually, on these days he would sit at the kitchen table with maps splayed open and folders and papers stacked around him. These were Mikasa’s favorite days because she got to spend the whole day with him. That aching pit of loneliness didn’t threaten to consume her when he was near, even if they spent all day in silence. 

Today, Mike had joined him and was bent over a map with Erwin and pointing out landmarks to use as rest points outside the walls. The next expedition was a week away and Mikasa was dreading the three days Erwin would be gone. The thought of him dying in the stomach of some titan was enough to steal the air from her lungs and so she kept herself busy and quietly buried any worries she had deep down.

The day took a turn when after lunch there was a knock on the door. Logically, Mikasa knew that the chances of those men, or men like them, being on the other side of the door were incredibly slim. And yet, her fingers searched the sewing basket Mrs. Wagner had given her for shears until they closed around the cool metal. Even if there wasn’t a threat to her new family waiting on the other side, having a weapon in hand grounded her.

Mike answered the door and through the curtain of her hair, she saw it was a plump man in a suit. He didn’t look like a bandit or trafficker. “Ah, I was told this was Erwin Smith’s home?”

“You’ve got the right place.” He said and stood back. Mike didn’t talk a whole lot and when he did it was quiet and to the point. Whenever he saw her he’d smile and pat her head and not ask how she was doing. Mikasa liked that about him. 

The man turned out to be the lawyer Erwin had hired to handle her parent’s estate. He’d brought papers for Erwin to sign and things that now belonged to Mikasa. It wasn’t even enough to fill the cart they had brought to carry it. She supposed there wasn’t much need to hold onto it while she lived with Erwin in a fully furnished house. 

The lawyer, Mr. Richter, hadn’t come alone, apparently, Doctor Yeager and his son Eren had tagged along. 

“How have you been, Mikasa?” He asked, taking a seat in the rocking chair by the hearth and leaning forward so that his elbows rested on his knees. “This is my son Eren, he’s about your age. I’d hoped to introduce you earlier.”

Had he brought his son along on that terrible day? Had this boy seen her abandoned home and the body of her father? She didn’t remember seeing him with Doctor Yeager at the Military Police outpost, but maybe he had been sent home while they had searched for her. She hated herself for how embarrassed she felt over other people knowing how broken she was and what made her that way.

Eren had startling green eyes and looked annoyed. “Hi.” Was the only greeting he offered and stuffed his hands into the pockets of his coat. Doctor Yeager looked less than impressed with his actions. 

Mikasa offered Eren a nod in return. She’d never been around other children her age before. She didn’t want to start now. 

“Eren, why don’t you untie the rope on the cart, do you remember the knot we used?” 

Mikasa watched as Eren left, scowling the whole way out of the house. He didn’t seem to want to be here. 

“Mikasa,” she turned are attention back to Doctor Yeager. “How are you feeling?” 

She shrugged her shoulder, “Fine,”. It was a lie of course and he seemed to know it. In actuality, she didn’t know how she felt or how to describe it. It was some horrid series of emotions that sometimes combined and twisted underneath the skin of her chest until she thought she might burst. And if the dam finally broke she wasn’t sure it would stop.

He studied her a moment, “How do you like living so close to a town?” He offered her a kind smile, “I know it must be different for living on the mountain?” He could tell she was uncomfortable and that just made her feel worse. She was being a burden. 

Mikasa nodded and plucked at a loose thread of her embroidery. That feeling was back. That feeling that there was something more to Doctor Yeager than what she could see slid down her spine. He seemed a kind man so she didn’t think he would hurt her or Erwin, but there was just something there.

“Are there many children your age here?”

She shook her head and felt ashamed at how rude she was being. Her mother would have scolded her for it. But her mother wasn’t here to correct her behavior. She’d have to do better on her own. 

“Thank you for coming to visit me.” She said, lifting her head and forcing herself to make eye contact. She forced her lips into a smile that felt more like a grimace. Doctor Yeager looked worried.

He sat back in the rocking chair and pulled a small book from the inside pocket of his coat and passed it to her. “My wife, Carla, helped pack your things up and thought you might like pressed flowers from your mother’s garden.”

She rubbed her fingers along the cover of the book wondering what kind of animal had been used to make the leather binding when her fingers froze. She’d almost forgotten about the flowers that had surrounded their home. It seemed that with every day that passed she forgot just a little bit more. Tentatively, Mikasa opened the book. 

The first flower was a lilac-colored and bell-shaped. They had been a constant through the hottest months of the year and sometimes she pretended that they made tinkling sounds like real bells did when the wind blew. Her father would always play along and listen for the bells on the wind with her. 

Mikasa thumbed through the book seeing more flowers and even a few of the herbs she would harvest with her mother. Each one bringing back a happy memory. Emotion welled up inside of her until her eyes started to water. “Thank you, Doctor Yeager.”

He gave her another smile and stood up. “Why don’t we help Eren bring the boxes in?”

Mikasa slid her eyes to where Erwin and Mr. Richter were sitting. Erwin was reading a stack of papers with a frown that made her pause. Mike, who had been leaning against the wall of the kitchen came over then and ushered her through the door with the promise to help them unload the cart. Erwin often frowned when he read, but these were papers concerning her, and not knowing made her uneasy.

Later, once Mike had gone back to base, and Mr. Richter and the Yeagers had ridden away, Erwin sat her down at the table to talk. He told her the details of what the lawyer had done with her family home and the furniture inside. Apparently, it had all been sold off to a young couple looking to start a family. Mikasa hoped they took care of the house her father had built and watered and weeded the garden her mother had cultivated.

Erwin pulled out the same stack of papers she’d seen him reading earlier. “Mr. Richter was able to find only one living relative from your father's side of the family.” 

Mikasa was almost hoping she didn’t have any more family out there. She was comfortable here with Erwin and didn’t want to have to start over again. 

“The man’s name is Kenny Ackerman and he lives in the interior. He says that while he’ll claim you as part of the Ackerman clan, he’d prefer that you not come and live with him.” Erwin’s mouth twisted at this. “He’s apparently older and not in a position to raise a child.” 

Erwin looked up at her and she knew he had twisted the truth so as not to sound so harsh. She appreciated the thought but would have preferred the undoctored truth and told him so. He seemed more amused then abashed at being caught.

“I can stay with you, then?” She didn’t want to sound too hopeful and judging by Erwin’s face she had failed. Still, he smiled. 

“If that’s what you want you may stay.” He said slowly, his smile turning sly. 

“Yes!” And maybe she sounded a bit too eager because he chuckled at her reply. 

“According to his letter, he is the oldest male from the main family while you are from a branch of the family that split off sometime before the resurrection of the walls.” Erwin paused for a small moment, as though his mind had drifted elsewhere. “Mr. Richter informs me that the Ackerman family is a formally recognized family by the crown, as such, Kenny has certain rights he may choose to impose on you.”

“Like what?” She didn’t like the sound of this. How can someone give her rules to follow who doesn’t even want her? That wasn’t fair. 

“Such as deciding who you marry.” Mikasa made a face. “It isn’t all that common anymore, but many families used to marry off their children to other families for political or monetary gain. As it so happens, he just requests you to refrain from falling in love and marring any of the ‘fat Nobles’ in the interior.” 

“I don’t know any Nobles.” Mikasa also didn’t want to marry, she wanted to join the Scouts with Erwin. If she got married, she’d have to live with away from Erwin. 

Erwin grinned at her and she felt lighter. “Well, it’s a ways off. Though I agree with him about the nobles bit. They’re all dirty.”

“Are they rich perverts?” She asked. 

Nobles were supposed to be rich. She’d heard men and women in the market grouse about them hoarding wealth while the common man suffered to feed his family. Were they the people those men would have sold her and her mother to?

Erwin had looked back to the letter but paused when she asked her question. When he looked back at her he had that curious spark in his eye. “Where did you hear that?” He asked carefully. 

Mikasa fidgeted in her seat with the impression she had said something she shouldn’t have. She shrugged her shoulders and averted her eyes from him to stare at a fixed spot on the wall to her left. 

“You aren’t in trouble, Mikasa.” He said and reached out across the table to place his hand on her shoulder. It instantly made her feel better. She didn’t want to disappoint him. 

“Those men,” she started, struggling to order her words into something that would make sense. She hadn’t talked about that night since it happened. “They said they were going to sell my mother and me to rich perverts in the capital. Only the Nobles are rich, aren’t they?”

The hand on her shoulder loosened its grip before tightening again. “The Nobels are some of the few people who could get away with human trafficking.” He told her slowly. After a moment he pulled his head back and returned his attention to the letter in his other hand. “Kenny also writes that he wants to meet you sometime int he near future. I have a trip to the interior planned for when we get back from this coming expedition. We can meet him then.” 

Mikasa nodded, that wasn’t so bad. It also had the added benefit of encouraging Erwin to come back from the expedition alive. She wasn’t so keen on visiting the interior. Not only were the Nobles there, her mother and father had never had anything good to say about the people who lived there. If it meant that she got to stay with Erwin, then she would be brave and go see Kenny.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope y'all enjoy, there wasn't much to this chapter though we should get to meet Hanji and Kenny in the coming chapters. We will be seeing more of Eren in the next chapter and maybe even Armin.

**Author's Note:**

> So the kids of the 104th are aged up a bit for reasons that will be apparent in the future. Also, I've messed around a bit with the Training Corps specifics. You'll see.


End file.
